The Dark Side of the Sun
by blackwomanwriter
Summary: Trouble finds Olivia on her island hideaway.
1. Chapter 1

**The Dark Side of the Sun**

**Summary:** Trouble finds Olivia on her island hideaway.

**A/N:** All characters are owned by Shondaland.

(Chapter 1 / ?)

Olivia felt herself raise involuntarily on her tip-toes. She'd been doing that often these past six months: a symptom of stomping around DC in heels handling issue after issue for way too long. Now her feet had been released to feel the luxury of the warm sand, but they still rebelled. She had to train them ,like she had to train her mind, to relax. This was a new chapter in her life. A chapter where she was free to stand on the beach and watch the ocean's waves rise and fall over and over until her heart's content. She'd thrown her phone into that ocean the first day she walked along the shore. She was sure of her decision to leave, but wasn't yet sure how long she could ignore those calls. She needed to make a clean break. She felt like an amputee with phantom pains the first few weeks. She kept reaching into pockets and purses thinking it was there. Phantom rings woke her in the middle of the night on alert to put out the fires of the latest crisis. After she realized it was all in her head, she remained wide awake until sunrise worrying about those that she loved and hoping they were OK. She started creating little happy scenarios in her head to help her cope with leaving them; for letting them down.

In her mind Huck was able to reunite with his wife and son. The love of the two most important people in his life finally brought him back from the constant mental warfare in his mind. They were settled and happy. Abby was engaged to David and they couldn't wait to start a family together. Harrison would be the best man at the wedding and he would meet a beautiful woman at the reception that he'd fall head over heels in love with. Quinn finally came to peace with her new life and identity and she was on her way to being happy. They all got together once a month for family dinners where they laughed and reminisced about old cases, and occasionally spoke of her fondly.

She tried not to think much about Fitz. The scab over that wound was still fresh enough that picking at it would result in a rush of blood that wasn't worth the pain.

Olivia took a drink from the glass in her hand. She'd left her appetite for wine ,along with the rest of her life, back in DC. Now her taste buds were savoring the cool, crisp taste of cocktails that featured gin, lime, and grapefruit juice. It seemed more appropriate with the constant sunlight shining down on her. Wine reminded her of loneliness and heartache. She sighed and held her head up to the sun. The warmth felt so good. The kiss of the rays had made the browness of her skin radiate with a warm glow. She felt it now on her bare shoulders and legs. Another change she allowed for herself was no more white in her wardrobe. Her daily look now consisted of short and colorful dresses accented by her naturally curly hair. If anyone came to the island looking for her, hiding in plain sight wouldn't be a problem. This was not the Olivia Pope anyone was used to seeing.

She made her way along the beach back to her house. She smiled and waved at the occasional person she passed on the way. Her new island home wasn't totally remote, but it wasn't a tourist attraction either. She spent much of her time reading trashy novels and swimming for hours on end. She still hadn't mastered the art of cooking, but she didn't really have to. Olivia smiled as she walked through the front door of the small beach house and smelled the now familiar aroma of citrus fish. She dropped her keys on the living room table and walked to the entrance of the kitchen. She stood there a moment to admire the bare, muscled back of the man standing in front of the stove putting the finishing touches on their dinner. She leaned her head against the door jamb and suddenly felt warm even though the air conditioner was going at full blast. Sensing he was being watched, her shirtless chef turned suddenly as if ready to defend himself from an attack. Old habits died hard for the both of them. When he saw it was her a smile replaced his military trained look of combat.

"You're lucky it was just me. I don't know how much damage you were planning on doing with that spatula in your hand, Jake."

"I'll have you know I once apprehended a man with a bendy straw, Ms. Pope." Jake wiped his hands on a towel and walked over to Olivia wearing only a pair of dark blue, cotton shorts. She wrapped her arms around his waist when he reached her, and laid her forehead on his chest. He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of head. This had become a ritual for them. Olivia had spent so many years shunning affection and hugs from others that now she craved it. She loved the feel of his strong arms around her. They usually spent a few minutes in that position just savoring the touch of each other. When Olivia was ready to let go she placed a kiss on his chest and looked up at him. She'd grown to love the feel of his new beard on her face as he leaned down and kissed her. Sometimes the kiss was just a soft peck. Other times the kiss lingered on for awhile until they ended up naked on the floor. They'd eaten a few burnt dinners as a result. On this day Olivia was way too hungry and after a quick kiss led Jake back to the stove.

"Back to making dinner." She gave him a light tap on the butt. He raised an eyebrow and smirked at her.

"Yes, ma'am." Olivia laughed and started making them both a fresh cocktail. She looked out of the window at the sun one last time as it was starting to set. Her smile started to fade a bit as a nagging at the back of her mind made her feel that the new life she had been able to carve out had an end date that was set to expire soon.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Dark Side of the Sun**

**Summary:** Trouble finds Olivia on her island hideaway.

Chapter 2

It took two months , once they landed in Saint Martin, before Olivia and Jake shared a bed every night. They'd slept together a handful of times back in their former lives, but she wasn't quite ready for that level of coupledom straight away. Jake understood and gave her space. They spent some time together exploring their new island home, but more often than not Olivia went off on her own. She needed some "me" time to get to know herself not as the "Fixer", the "Handler", or the "Mistress of the President." She needed to be selfish and find who Olivia Pope truly was. The formative years of her childhood had been cloaked in lies. With the truths of her parents out in the open it was time for a rebirth. So she spent a lot of time alone wandering the island, and every so often taking deep breathes to let the clean air fill her lungs. Hoping it would be more effective than holy water at cleansing the devil of her parentage out of her soul. A park next to an elementary school that overlooked one of the beaches soon became her favorite spot to think. Watching the kids run and play with a nearly reckless glee always brought a smile to her face. She'd never get back the innocence of youth, but maybe she'd learn to have fun again.

Jake helped with the having fun part. Slowly they began to spend most nights together getting to know each other on a deeper level. She was his guinea pig as he tried out the latest recipe he learned from a couple of island natives he'd befriended. They spent hours eating, drinking, and laughing. Olivia couldn't remember the last time she laughed so much. The rules were that they couldn't talk about their time together in DC. Anything else was fair game.

"So that was your first time?" Olivia covered her mouth with one hand so no food would fly out from her laughing so hard.

"What? I was 17. I was lucky I got the wrapper open with the way my hands were trembling." Jake shook his in amusement as he watched Olivia put her napkin over her face to avoid looking at him. "Come on, Liv. It's your turn. I told you mine. Now tell me yours."

"Absolutely not. I did not agree to this game."

"So I have to be alone in my embarrassment?"

"Looks that way."

"Oh you wound me Liv. I'm sure you had all the boys after you in high school."

"Not so much. I went to an all girl's boarding school. I didn't have more first boyfriend until Sophomore year in college."

"You waited that long, huh. But then again not just anyone deserves the hand of Olivia Pope."

"I wish I could say I was just picky, but the truth is my Freshman year roommate, Cynthia, traumatized me by sneaking her boyfriend into our room every night after curfew. The sounds they made haunted me for months."

"Ah, the joys of living with a roommate."

"Cynthia wasn't so bad. We actually became good friends though we lost touched in recent years. I think it helped that she started dating a higher caliber of men, as she called them. She thought the guys of Princeton were too young and immature for her. She started hanging with men that wined and dined her. She spent the night with them at places like the Four Seasons."

"From dorm rooms to high class hotel rooms. I think that was the plot of a Lifetime movie I saw once."

"You were watching Lifetime?" Olivia said incredulously

"Don't judge. I think my cable was out except for that one channel. Anyway, this college student slept with rich guys to help pay her tuition. She eventually liked that life much more than school and became a high class Madame. Riveting TV."

"Ah yes. Men often take the women they can't been seen in public with to the highest class of hotels." Olivia said it with more venom than she intended. The room grew thick with tension. The only sounds were the scraping of their forks on their plates.

"We're not supposed to talk about D.C." Jake finally said quietly.

"I know."

"He's part of D.C., Liv."

"I know."

"You deserved way more than he was able to give you."

"I thought we weren't supposed to talk D.C." Olivia snapped as she rose from the table to take her plate to the sink.

She went outside to the back porch to get some air. The moon was barely visible through the overcast sky causing the night to look darker than usual. She walked out to the edge of the small back yard and took in a few cleansing breaths. She could see Jake through the kitchen window washing the dishes. Guilt started to set in. He was only trying to help. It would be so easy to give her heart fully to him, but just as she was on the verge on accepting that fact her mind would start counting the reasons why it wasn't a good idea. The problem was she could only think of one reason. He wasn't _him_. Her heart was making it into a con while her mind knew it was a pro. Olivia couldn't deny she had feelings for Jake; deep, strong feelings, but the tether that tied her to Fitz was still attached though severely damaged. But every night she lay in her bed fully aware of Jake lying in his just across the hall. She couldn't forget the way his lips felt on hers. Or the way his hands explored her body. She said she would try to stand in the sun with him. Maybe it was time to leave the shadows.

Olivia walked back into the kitchen and placed a hand of Jake's shoulder. "I'm sorry I snapped at you." He looked up from the last dish he was drying and smiled at her.

"It's okay. I'm a big boy. I can take it." Olivia smiled back at him and stood on her toes to place a soft kiss on each of his cheeks. She reached her hand up and started the trace the lines of his lips. He stood still the whole time barely remembering to take a breath. When she finally was about the place her lips to his, Jake grabbed her shoulders gently and pulled slightly away.

"Don't. Not unless you're sure. I didn't come here to take advantage of you in weak moments. You know how I feel about you. That hasn't changed. But I don't want any regrets. I don't want you to wake up in the morning and wish I wasn't there."

"Jake, I would never..." Jake cut her off and gave her a quick kiss on the forehead..

"It's late. You can go on to bed if you want. I'll finish cleaning up."

Olivia opened her mouth wordlessly a couple of times. She wasn't quite sure what to say so she turned around and made her way to her bedroom. She was feeling slightly embarrassed by his rejection.

"Liv, wait." She turned and saw Jake walking to her.

"Jake, what's wrong?"

"I'm an idiot. I gave that big speech, but truth is I'll let you have me any way you want as long as you'll have me."

"Jake, I want you. All of you." Jake started shaking his head.

"You don't have to lie to me."

"I'm not. You know me better than anyone. Look at me." Olivia started walking towards him. "Look into my eyes and see that I'm telling the truth. Remember the last time we slept together I admitted there was something between us? It's still there, and it's separate from whatever I still feel for Fitz. I chose to leave him. I chose to runaway with you. And now I'm choosing again." Jake looked into her eyes searching for what he needed to see. Suddenly he picked her and she wrapped her legs around his waist. The lips finally touched again after months apart.

* * *

That night as they made love, she gave him her heart and soul fully, for the first time. He'd spent every night in her bed since. She thought of it as their bedroom now. She looked over at him as he snored lightly. At that moment she envied his peaceful sleep. Olivia had been tossing and turning all night. She couldn't stop thinking about the nagging feeling she had earlier. She eased out of the bed as not to disturb him, put on her robe, and went into the living room.

She thought about emailing her father to make sure everyone back home was okay, but he'd promised her he let her know if there were any problems. He sent her a message yesterday and there was no mention of trouble. The email was mostly him asking her is she was okay, if she needed anything, and if Jake was treating her right. Olivia couldn't mask her smile at his fatherly concern. She didn't realize how much she missed having that in her life. Jake still didn't trust him completely, but she had to have at least a little faith in her father. She needed at least one parent to count on; to love. A therapist probably wouldn't think her method was healthy, but she blocked out everything Command about her father. He was now just a concerned parent who worked at the Smithsonian. Her fragile sanity wouldn't allow anything else.

"I heard you brain waves from the bedroom. You're thinking too hard." She looked her and saw Jake, and his disheveled hair, walking towards where she was laying on the couch. He sat at the opposite end of the couch and put her feet in his lap and started rubbing them. "Relax, Liv. We're in paradise. No worrying is allowed."

"I know. It's just I've had this nagging feeling since last night. And you know my gut is rarely wrong."

"What your gut needs is food." He took her hand and pulled her until she was laying on top of him. "So lets get dressed...eventually. And then go stuff ourselves on some good island food." Olivia kissed him and jumped up from the couch.

"Race you to the shower."

* * *

Their favorite restaurant was more crowded than usual. It wasn't tourist season yet, but more people have flown in to escape the harsh winters that was going on in other parts of the world.

They were able to get a booth in the back. Olivia was so engrossed in her menu, deciding what to order that she didn't notice Jake was trying to give her a single until he pressed his foot down on hers with a little force.

"Ow, watch your feet." Olivia looked at him and the look on his face made her heart start to race a bit. "What is it, Jake?"

"I'm not sure, but there's a woman across the room that's been staring at you since we sat down. There's something about the desperation in her look. I don't like it." Jake gave a quick glance to where the woman was sitting. "Shit, she starting to work over here." Jake took one of the knives on the table in his hand. "No much, but it will help if we need it."

Olivia finally looked up when the woman was two feet in front of her. Looking into her eyes she knew her gut was right again. This woman was about to bring trouble back into her life.

"Olivia, thank god. You look so different but I knew it was you. I..I need your help. It's life or death." The woman looked close to tears. Jake was on high alert and clutched the knife more tightly in his hand. Olivia put her hand over his letting him know that weapons weren't necessary.

"Jake this is, Cynthia, my roommate from college."


	3. Chapter 3

**The Dark Side of the Sun**

**Summary:** Trouble finds Olivia on her island hideaway.

**Disclaimer:** All "Scandal" characters belong to Shondaland.

**A/N:** Thank you all for the wonderful reviews of this story. They are very much appreciated, and I hope you like the latest installment.

**Chapter 3**

Jake had no trouble adjusting when he first went to the Naval Academy. He grew up with four brothers and two sisters. Sleeping in close quarters with other people was no problem. He made friends instantly with his easy going nature and charm. The Navy was no piece of cake, but he loved the experience of serving his country. He met Fitzgerald Grant during his first tour of duty: the privileged son of a senator. They became fast friends. Jake never felt any jealousy towards Fitz. At times he pitied the guy. Big Jerry had planned and controlled his life so much, he hardly knew himself. His misery came to the surface during their many nights drinking together. Jake could only shake his head mentally and think "poor little rich kid." Remington changed everything. The course of Jake's life took a new and menacing turn. Command and B6-13 owned every part of him. From the outside it appeared he had a good life: high ranking position as a Captain, great apartment in D.C., and living the life of a bachelor. But the truth was he was slowly dying inside. A piece of his soul chipped away each time he was ordered to kill or permanently ruin someone's life. His own mother wouldn't recognize who he had truly become.

He followed Fitz's career here and there throughout the years: governor and then president. Jake still didn't have any jealousy towards him; just resentment. Resentment that his family connections got him out of taking any responsibility for Remington. Then the call came. His old buddy wanted him to run surveillance on a woman that may be a danger to the republic. Olivia Pope. When he reported this to Command his boss's usual cold, hard stare dropped. A fleeting moment of pain flashed through the man's eyes before the ice returned. It made Jake wonder when Command gave him the mission to seduce Ms. Pope. Who was this woman that had these two powerful men completely shook? He was expecting someone Quentin Tarantino sick and twisted mind would conjure up, but instead he found himself daily looking at video of this beautiful, smart, compassionate, and sad woman. Her sadness touched his heart in a way nothing had in years. Soon his calls and flirting became less about the mission and more about trying to make her happy. The first night they slept together he knew he'd fallen in love with her. Whatever Command had planned for her couldn't be good, and he had to stop it. When he took her to the hospital after she hit her head he spent the whole time the doctor's were working on her mentally kicking himself for being so stupid. For letting her see the surveillance; for his part in causing her to have a concussion.

Then he saw Fitz in her hospital room hugging her, and for the first time since they met he felt a jealousy so intense it almost suffocated him.

She was the President's girl. Fitz who had everything handed to him in life; and had a beautiful family of his own, had Olivia Pope's heart also. But that didn't stop Jake for falling deeper for Olivia. It didn't stop him for doing everything he could to protect her. He knew the consequences of disobeying Command, but her safety was all he cared about. Her face was permanently tattooed in his mind the months he was in the hole. Between the beatings and torture he dreamed of them standing together in the sun. Now it was their reality. He slept with his arms wrapped around the woman that meant the world to him every night. Piece by piece his soul started to reform itself. For the first time in decades he felt like he could finally breathe. But now as he sat next to Olivia listening to Cynthia tell her story he felt like paradise was slipping away from them.

His two decades of being a B6-13 agent had taught him to read people well, and he knew Cynthia wasn't giving them the whole story. He was worried that this was a set-up. He wouldn't put it past Fitz to dig up Olivia's old college roommate to somehow bring her back to D.C. The man had no boundaries when it came to her. Jake knew Fitz was the one that leaked Olivia's name to the press as his mistress. Tom handed him that little nugget when he became Command. He never told Olivia because he knew she would be crushed hearing the man she loved deliberately destroyed a reputation she worked so hard to build. He couldn't cause her that much pain even if it meant that she'd run into his arms. So now he looked at Cynthia while wondering if she was sent to cause harm.

"You know how I was, Liv. One rich guy after another. I met Jeff my last year in business school. He was a lawyer with some pretty nefarious clients, but he treated me like a queen so I didn't care. I did start caring; however, when he asked me to make a drop for one of his clients."

"Was it drugs?" Olivia asked

"Yes, at the time I didn't know what it was, but I knew it wasn't anything good. The crime syndicate that Jeff was a part of had been infiltrated by an undercover agent. They knew what I did so I was arrested with the rest of them. The feds offered me a deal if I told them everything I knew and saw over the years with Jeff. So I took it."

"I bet all of your drug friends just loved you for that." Jake said as he took a drink of water. He was restraining himself from taking Olivia by the hand and leaving the restaurant, pretending they never ran into this woman. Olivia must have heard the strain in his voice because she gave him a quizzical look before turning her attention back to Cynthia.

"So if you took a deal what's the problem? Why do you need my help?" Olivia said.

"Because someone killed Jeff while he was in lock-up. I think he was getting a deal also, and someone got to him before he could tell all of the secrets. I panicked fearing I would be next. I left the country and came here to think of a way I could hide forever. I felt like God had sent me a sign when I saw you walk through the restaurant door, Liv. I know you can fix all kinds of problems. Please help me. Please save my life." Cynthia said with a voice full of desperation as she grabbed onto Olivia's hand as if was a lifesaver in the middle of the ocean. Olivia looked at their two brown hands intertwined while thinking that she couldn't say no to her friend.

"Why don't you give us your number, and we'll call you later." Jake said before Olivia had a chance to answer.

"Jake..." Olivia said. Her quizzical look was back with a touch of annoyance.

"No offense to you Cynthia, but your story sounds a little too rehearsed and convenient. You just happen to find Olivia on a random island when you need someone like her the most." Jake said.

"Coincidences happen." Olivia said. Jake turned towards her.

"You and I both know things are rarely a coincidence." Jake said quietly. She saw the worry and fear in his eyes and turned to Cynthia.

"Cyn let us discuss the best course of action and I'll call you later. I got out of the fixer business a few months ago. Maybe I can find someone else to help you."

"I'll appreciate any help you can give me, Liv. I just need something. Something to help get me through the day." Cynthia said with tears framing her eyes.

"I'll do the best I can." Olivia said. They watched as Cynthia left the restaurant. Olivia turned back to Jake. "Okay what was that all about?"

"You're the one that you had a nagging feeling that something bad was going to happen, and then Cynthia just happened to show up at our island getaway? Come on Liv. Something is up with this."

Olivia sighed. "You're right, but I can't just leave Cynthia in the cold. I have to at least point her to someone you can help her. I'll call my dad."

"Yeah that makes me feel better." Jake mumbled. He grabbed Olivia's hand and kissed it. "I just worry about you; about us. I don't want anything to ruin what we have here." Olivia took his face into her hands and kissed his lips softly.

"Nothing is going to ruin us. I'll call my Dad and he'll handle it, and then we can put it out of our minds."

"Okay." Jake said as the waiter came to take their orders. Both sat quietly as they waited for their food. Each lost in thought at what all of this could mean for them.


	4. Chapter 4

**The Dark Side of the Sun**

**Summary:** Trouble finds Olivia on her island hideaway.

**Disclaimer:** All "Scandal" characters belong to Shondaland.

**A/N:** Thanks again for the reviews!

**Chapter 4 **

**2001 – Washington, D.C. – Congressional Black Caucus Annual Dinner**

"Liv, there's nothing but old politicians here." Cynthia said as she gazed around the room

"Cyn we are at the Congressional Black Caucus dinner. We are swimming in the most eligible black men in D.C. They have money, clout, and prestige. I thought that was everything you wanted in a man." Olivia said

"Yes, but not a man that could be my father. In fact, I think the guy over by the door is a friend of my father's. Is there anyone here under the age of 40? I like an older, established man, but I don't get your current fascination with the Geritol crowd."

"These men play no games. They know what they want, and go after it. I happen to find that very sexy. Besides I'm not here for the whole crowd. Just one in particular. Remember that handsome man that was just elected senator of Florida? Edison? We had a coffee date earlier this week. I think we really hit it off. He's destined for great things." Olivia said as she smoothed down her newly cut bangs.

"You don't even drink coffee, Liv. Look at you compromising yourself trying get on that political power couple status." Cynthia said

"It's not like I'm compromising my morals. I'm just opening myself up to new experiences. Like my Dad always tells me, 'I didn't send you to the best schools in the country for you to be mediocre,' " Olivia said with a roll of her eyes, "Once I get my law degree, watch out D.C., Olivia Pope is about to take over." Olivia and Cynthia both broke out in laughter.

"Ugh don't remind me about parents. Mine are ready to disown me as usual. First they said the would take care of me until I finished school, but now they're saying if I don't get my grades up they're going to cut me off. It's business school, nobody cares what my grades are as long as I get the MBA at the end."

"Didn't you say the same thing about finishing college. Something about it how it didn't matter if you made C's as long as you had a degree from Princeton?"

"And my theory proved correct. It's mostly my mom getting on my case. She's so ultra conservative. She expects me to by just like her, and that's not happening any time soon. I wish she would get off my case and stop bugging me."

"It must be nice though. To have a mom that bugs you occasionally. She's reminding you she cares, Cyn." Olivia said

"Oh, I'm sorry, Liv. I'm always complaining about my mom to you. I can be damn insensitive at times," Cynthia turned to Olivia and gave her friend a hug, "I'm sorry girl."

Olivia hugged her back. "No don't worry about. My mom died a long ago. I'm not really grieving anymore. It's just at times like this when I think I met a great guy, I'd just like to be able to talk to her about what I'm feeling. We used to have such good talks. I can't really do that with my Dad."

"You know you can talk to me about anything. You probably could call up my mom and talk to her too. You know she loves you. You're the daughter she never had. She would gladly trade me in for you. She used to call me the black sheep of the family. One day I pretended I didn't know what it meant and asked her if she called me that because I'm darker than my brothers. She cried and told me how beautiful I was for two days straight. I still use that to guilt trip her when I need money."

Olivia laughed. "Cyn!"

"What? Sometimes you have to play the game to get what you want."

"Please never change, Cyn. I don't know what I would do without all of this laughter you bring." Olivia said and gave her friend another hug.

"That's my plan. Now you go sweet talk your senator. I just spotted a young cutie in the corner. Let me go put this new dress and hairdo to work since I may need a back up plan in case my parents go through on their threats." Cynthia said as she made her way across the room.

* * *

Olivia noticed Jake wasn't being himself. He was quiet all though their meal at the restaurant. Now as they walked back home she could tell he wasn't there with her mentally. He usually held her hand, but now he was slightly ahead of her completely lost in thought. She knew he was worried. She was too, but she tried to push it to the side. Her and Cynthia were really good friends once upon a time and she didn't want to think her friend was going to cause her harm. That was true of too many people that she'd taken into her heart. But she knew better than most that people had the capacity to do many bad things under the right circumstances.

When they came to the fork in the road where one path led to their house and the other led to her favorite spot on the island, Olivia took Jake's hand and steered him towards the elementary school.

"Liv what are you doing?" Jake asked as Olivia led him down the rocky path.

"I want to show you something. This was my sanctuary the first couple of months after we arrived here. I liked sitting on this bench and watching the kids play. My therapy. I think you need a little therapy right now so tell me what's wrong." Olivia said.

"You know what's wrong, Liv. I don't trust Cynthia, and think it's some kind of set-up. I wouldn't be surprised if he was trying to get you back somehow."

"He?"

"Fitz."

Olivia sighed. "Jake when will you accept that Fitz is in the past?"

"When you accept it."

"What makes you think I haven't?"

"Because I know you Liv. I know it's probably going to take longer than six months to get over someone you loved so deeply," Jake paused and looked to the ground, "Sometimes I'm jealous that he has a part of your heart that I may never be able to access."

Olivia looked up at the sky in silent prayer asking the heavens to give her the words she needed at that moment. She rarely talked to anyone about Fitz. Partly because she was having an affair with the leader of the free world, and partly because she needed to compartmentalize everything in order to make it through the day. Now she wanted desperately for Jake to understand everything that was in her heart. She just opened her mouth and let the truth spill out.

"I spent a lot of time of this bench thinking about Fitz and our relationship. I loved him. I truly did, but it wasn't good. It wasn't healthy. I knew it was wrong the moment it started, but I coudn't stop. I'd been sad and lonely for so long and to finally feel that spark...," Olivia sighed, "I used to go home after one of our romps in a hotel room or the Oval or at Camp David and just be so disappointed in myself. I'd vow to end it the next time I saw him, but I never could. I justified it to myself because I loved him. But our love was so destructive. The lies and deceit caused so much collateral damage. I'll live with that blood on my hands for the rest of my life."

Olivia raised up from the bench as the memories began to weigh down on her. She started pacing in front of the bench as Jake watched her intently.

"There were some good times, but those were few and far between. Our love left me broken. I wanted a devastating, heartbreaking love and that's what we had. I actually thought at one point all of the lip service we gave each other would come to pass. We were going to get married. I made a plan that would have me beside him in the White House once he divorced Mellie. Naiveté at its best. We had dreams of moving to Vermont after his presidential run was over. He even had a house built for us."

"Wow. A guy like me couldn't dream of competing with that." Jake tried to joke but the serious tension around them made it fall flat.

"Yeah a house built in secret for his mistress. It's the perfect allegory to our relationship. Beautiful but ultimately just an empty shell.

"Well when you put it that way." Jake joked again. This time he was rewarded with a small smile from Olivia as she sat down again next to him.

"Remember back when Fitz had you working as my bodyguard and you said I was so angry at you because I liked you? You were right. I was supposed to be a part of this great love story, but I was always drawn back to you. And it felt like betrayal to Fitz which shows you how far gone I was. I felt like I betrayed a married man. I sometimes used to wish that I never answered Cyrus' call about working on the Grant campaign. That I met you instead in a real and organic way."

"I wished that all the time," Jake said, "I wished that I wasn't on a mission. I wished we were just two people dating. I wished there was no B6-13. No Command. There was just Olivia and Jake falling in love.

"That would have been nice. You were like a light shining down on me in my darkest hour when we met. Our flirting made me feel so good. You made me smile and laugh so much. You've always been there when I needed you even though I pushed you away time and time again. When you said I didn't have to be alone and you weren't going anywhere you meant it. You keep your promises. If we were different people when we met I would have fell for you hard and fast. We would have been happy. I kept myself in misery for so long."

"There's too much strife in the world for love to make you miserable."

"Yeah I'm figuring that out now. Were you ever in love? Before we met?

"Well B6-13 doesn't like agents to have any immediate family ties so I didn't let myself get too close to anyone. There was this one woman though, Hannah. I cared for her a lot, but I had to break up with her. For her safety and mine. But what I felt for her can't compare to my feelings for you. That's on a whole other level that grows deeper by the day." Jake took her hand in his as Liv smiled shyly at him.

"I know the feeling." She said. She laid her head on his shoulder. They were quiet for awhile just watching the children play.

"They do have fun, don't they." He said.

Olivia smiled. "Yes. It's beautiful. Every time I come here I try to remember if I ever had this much fun when I was their age, but my memories are so tainted. I don't know what's real and what's not anymore."

"Your parents love you, Liv. In their own psycho way, they love you."

"Yeah."

"Do you want children?" Jake asked after awhile. Olivia shrugged.

"After they way I grew up, and the things I've done, I don't think I should be raising a child." Olivia said

"People in this world are so fucked up maybe everyone should stop having babies and just let the human race die out."

"Save humanity by extinguishing humanity. That's rather poetic."

"Well I did minor in Great American Poets at the Naval Academy?"

"Really?"

"No." Jake laughed and Olivia gave him a swat on the arm in mock anger.

"My parents are good people.," Jake said, "There were seven of us kids. We didn't have much, but we knew we were loved. They were very religious. I don't think I missed one Sunday of church the 18 years I lived at home. I'm not even sure I believe in God anymore, but sometimes I lie awake at night wondering what my mom would think of me if she knew how far away I've strayed from all of those Sunday School lessons. I just hope she would still love me. Maybe one day you'll get to meet her. She'd love you."

"You think so?" Olivia said.

"Yes, of course. You're amazing. Why wouldn't she love you?"

"Would she be shocked you fell for a black woman?"

"I want to say no. I want to say she's way more progressive than that, but the truth is we're a bunch of white people from a small white town so yeah probably."

"Always appreciate your honesty, Captain." Olivia laughed. "Do you miss them? Your family? I imagine B6-13 life made seeing them regularly difficult."

"Yeah. I was only able to visit a handful of holidays. They think I'm doing great work for the country. I always cringe on the inside when they tell me how proud they are. I thought running away would make things so much better. Standing in the sun would make all of my sins disappear. Being here with you has been wonderful, and you are restoring my soul but I sill feel like a monster sometimes."

"Tell me about it." Olivia said.

"And with Cynthia finding you, coincidence or not, just makes me realize no matter where we go trouble is going to find us. We're just those kind of people."

"Maybe we just didn't run to the right place. We were so focused on standing in the sun, but maybe island life isn't for us. The sun rises in many places. Germany, France, Japan, Brazil. Lets just go. We'll keep running until we find our sanctuary. That could have been the nagging in the back of my brain I've been feeling. It's time for us to move on. So lets spin the globe and find a new place to build our new life together."

"I hear Iceland is beautiful in the fall." Jake said

"Then lets go there. I miss wearing all of my fancy coats anyway," Olivia joked as Jake laughed, "I'll see if my father can help Cynthia, and then in a few days time we can be out of here."

Jake leaned down and gave her a soft, but long kiss. "I love you." He said.

"Me too." She said back to him. They made their way back to their house while playfully debating where to go next.

* * *

Cynthia walked into her hotel with her head down and her shawl pulled tightly around her body. Despite the warm temperatures of the island she couldn't shake the deep cold that was in her bones. It had been there since that undercover agent had pulled out his badge and gun during the sting. She'd been a bit of a screw up her whole life. She knew she always had mommy and daddy to bail her out of trouble. She barely made it through Princeton and she only went back to get her MBA because he knew her parents would support her as long as she was in school She had her share of various rich men, but she knew she couldn't count on them long. She was just a pretty young thing to play with, and she was okay with that. She wasn't looking for any commitments. Then she met Jeff on the plane ride back to New Jersey after a weekend of hanging with Olivia in D.C. He was so charming and attentive that by the time they landed she had him wrapped around her finger. She left school to move to New York to be with him. Her parents protested and cut her off, but she didn't care. She was in love. She always told Jeff she'd do anything for him. He finally took her up and that offer and that lead to her being here, fearing for her life, and not knowing if she would get off this island alive.

The hotel had the A/C up on high, and she shivered as she walked into her cold room. She opened the curtains to let some heat in. When she turned around she screamed when she saw a man sitting on her bed.

"You scared me." Cynthia told the tall, man.

"Did you see her?" He asked with his slightly accented voice.

"Yes. She was there just like you said."

"Was she alone?"

"No. He was with her."

"And did they believe you?"

"I'm not sure. I think Olivia did. Jake seemed suspicious."

"You are not here to be unsure. The boss does not like unsure." The man said as he stood up and walked directly in front of her. He stood so close she could feel the heat of his breath. "You have 48 hours. You will make sure Ms. Pope believes your story fully and will help you or you know the consequences."

"Yes...yes, sir." Cynthia said. The man walked out of her room and Cynthia pulled her shawl even tighter as her blood went down to arctic levels.


End file.
